Ambiguous
by zxrysky
Summary: Tsuna doesn't have a father. Not in his eyes, at least. His mother is oblivious to most things, and Tsuna doesn't count her as a parental figure either. More of a blurred around the edges guardian. But there is someone Tsuna classifies as a "parental figure", or more of a brother. A man with long brown hair and golden eyes with a charming smile. A man that teaches Tsuna to live.


A/N: My first KHR fic. Second chapter is coming slowly. There might be a pairing, but for now I will focus on trying to get Natsu to meet all of Tsuna's Guardians because it is a pain in the ass writing everything out. Please bear with me. :)

Disclaimer: KHR does not belong to me. However, the idea is mine.

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{1}

The first time Tsuna uses _The Diary_, he doesn't know how important it will grow to become. The name's even capitalized and everything.

Tsuna is seven, and even now he already has the nickname "Dame-Tsuna". He really doesn't like it, but despite his valiant protests, the bullies ignore him, and soon, so do his classmates and his teachers. The teachers write it off as fun between boys, but even at the age of eight, Tsuna knows that it's more than that.

Today however, Izumi-sensei has decided to give the class an assignment. Tsuna knows that his studies aren't amazing, but he scores well enough to scrape a pass, and this assignment seems easy enough to help pull his grades up, so he straightens in his chair and pays attention.

Izumi-sensei wants the class to start keeping a diary, in which they have to record their activities. They have to write in it everyday, and Izumi-sensei says that he will check the diary at the end of the year. He says that he hopes that this activity will help improve their grammar and vocabulary, and Tsuna shrinks in his seat when Izumi-sensei's gaze lingers on him a tad longer as it sweeps over the class.

When he gets home, Tsuna says a quick "I'm home!" to his mom, and rushes into his room, trying to find a nice book. He finds one with its edges nicely bound and detailed with golden trimming, and he realizes that this is the present his mom gave him last year. He hasn't used it, so Tsuna guesses that it's okay to use for an assignment. But when he turns around, he knocks into the cupboard, and something grey and dusty falls from a crack in the wall.

Rushing forward, Tsuna hurriedly picks the object up, dusting it off while staring at the crack in the wall – half in fear and half in awe. Who made the crack there? And why was this book there? Tsuna flips through the pages, and the ink blotches on the yellowed paper looks like the book has been used before, but there are no words. Tsuna really wants to use the pretty book with the golden trimming, but this old book calls out to him and screams _home_.

Tsuna stares longingly at the pretty book for a heartbeat, before deciding to use both. After all, he only needs to hand one in to Izumi-sensei, and Izumi-sensei wouldn't know if he used two diaries, right? Rushing to his bed, he places both books on his mattress.

Taking out a pencil, he slowly scrawls out the kanji for his name on the tattered book. He does the same for the other. Flipping the old book open to the first page, Tsuna taps his pencil against his mouth. What to write?

_12 February. _

Tsuna slowly copies out the date onto his book, and is strangely proud of himself when he's finished.

_Today I go to school. Izumi-sensei say to write in diary, says that it will be assignment! Tsuna wants to do good for this, so I wil try hard and meke Mama _

He pauses. How does one write proud?

_Preud._

Nodding, he meticulously copies it out in his nicer handwriting onto the pretty book, and sighs in accomplishment when he's done. Tsuna has finished his homework for the day, and he bounds downstairs to where his mom is cooking dinner.

He leaves the two books on his bed, and doesn't see the pencil lead seep into the pages of the old book.

{2}

When Tsuna comes back the next day, he hurries to copy out his day's activities into the diary. Both diaries. He copies it out in the pretty diary first, since he's feeling tired, so his handwriting can be messier in the old diary.

_13 February._

_Today I played in the sandbox. It was fun! Mama says I did good on the test today. 51 out of 100. I passed! But Ran and Lumi want to take my bento agein._

Done with the pretty diary, Tsuna flips open the old diary.

His old entry is gone. There is a new one there. One that he does not remember writing.

Tsuna flings the book away from him first, afraid and frightened. Did a ghost possess it? He was very scared of ghosts. They weren't normal, and they scared him. But the book still rang of home, and it pulled something deep inside Tsuna's body.

He inches towards the book, wary. Picking it up by the edge, he slowly reads the entry, trying to understand the words.

**_12 February._**

**_Who are you?_**

Tsuna freezes, and slowly picks out a pencil, hand shaking as he puts it to paper. The moment he does so, the previous entry sinks into the paper, and Tsuna yelps as he dashes away, looking (but not really seeing) the empty first page.

He really wants to just hide the book and never use it again, but something about the book holds him back. His instinct tells him to write in the book, and he's always trusted his instincts, but Tsuna suspects that his instincts are screwed up right now.

He puts his pencil to paper, and slowly but surely, writes out a reply.

_13 February._

_Tsuna. My name is Tsuna. Who are you? How did you get this?_

He stares at the paper for a while, watching the lead seep into the paper with some sort of fascinated curiosity. Then the pretty scrawl starts writing itself on the paper again, and Tsuna's eyes widen.

**_13 February._**

**_Hello Tsuna. I am a friend. _**

Tsuna has forgotten about homework, and just starts writing again.

_Are you Papa?_

Tsuna doesn't know why, but he senses something akin to anger at this question of his from the book. He doesn't understand why, and to be honest, he didn't even know that books could get angry. The anger soon simmers down into something warm and fuzzy, and Tsuna instinctively relaxes.

**_No Tsuna, I'm not your Papa. But I can be your friend._**

Tsuna just nods eagerly at the paper when he sees the message, before realizing that the stranger can't see him nod.

_Be Tsuna's friend!_

**_Yes Tsuna, I'll be your friend._**

Tsuna is too happy to even question whom this strange person is, and all he knows and understand right now is that he _has a friend_ and that's all that's important.

{3}

Tsuna is ten now, and for the past three years, he has been talking with Natsu everyday.

He has never told anyone about Natsu, and Natsu supports this decision. He teaches Tsuna things, things about the world that Tsuna would never have believed if it were anyone else teaching him. Tsuna may not have seen Natsu, but to him, Natsu is something real, tangible, and perfect.

Because of Natsu, Tsuna's work has improved by leaps and bounds. He has asked Nana to buy workbooks for him, and Tsuna practices questions with Natsu as his mentor. He still plays up the façade of "Dame-Tsuna" in school and acts like he's extremely dumb, but that's mainly because he thinks that someone might find out about Natsu if Tsuna suddenly shoots up in the rankings.

Natsu is _his_ secret, _his _mentor, _his_ present. And Tsuna is very selfish at heart. But children are allowed to be selfish.

Tsuna likes to think that he knows everything about Natsu, after all their talks into the night about themselves. He knows that Natsu has brown-ish hair, like him, but it's much longer and it reaches all the way to the middle of his back. He knows that Natsu has pretty golden eyes that burn with a sort of secret flame in them, and Tsuna likes to imagine that it burns with power and ability. He knows that Natsu has many rings on his fingers, but Natsu isn't married. He doesn't have time for something like marriage. He knows that Natsu likes eating treacle tart and has a soft spot for sweet things, and that Natsu really adores Italian food, even though he's Japanese, just like Tsuna. He even knows Natsu's clothes and shoe size, and even though he'll never admit it, Tsuna has a few clothes of that size hanging in his closet, to prepare if Natsu ever appears in his life.

Natsu is just ten years older than him, and Tsuna thinks that this is what having a brother would be like.

Sometimes, however, when Natsu is feeling angry, it's hard to hold a conversation with him. Tsuna can try and reach out to him all he wants, but Natsu just seems to curl into himself and suffer silently, but Tsuna can feel the pain radiating from the book. Natsu doesn't blow up or scream when he's mad, he just simmers softly and his writings seem scarier, somehow. The words are still in that same familiar slant, but the shadow seems far longer, and looming.

He remembers asking Natsu once, if Natsu would be his family. Tsuna doesn't understand the sudden deep sadness rolling around in the book like waves on a storm, but he tries to.

**_You'll find a better family someday Tsuna. And I won't be part of it._**

Tsuna remembers crying and raging and throwing his book around his room before rushing to grab it back and whispering soft _I'msorryI'msorryIdidn'tmeanit_ to the book and scribbling out replies through blurry eyes. He watches as the tear streaks and marks on the book sink deep into the book, and he just _knows_ that Natsu can understand him, understands him on a deeper, more profound level and Tsuna so desperately wants Natsu to be part of his "better family".

Tsuna tries to bring up the matter at least once every three months, and Natsu's slight irritation slowly turns to resignation and mild amusement. Tsuna knows that Natsu's just playing along, but he likes to pretend that Natsu agrees to be his family.

Natsu also tells Tsuna stories, stories that have claimed their spots in Tsuna's memory. Stories of flames and colors and weathers and skies and Tsuna burns them all in his mind because everything said by Natsu is something to be treasured. Sometimes Natsu talks about a man with black hair and onyx eyes and a gun, and Tsuna senses a faint longing and wonders if Natsu used to love that man.

There are also stories about something like the Italian version of Yakuza, and they have long arguments about whether they're good or bad, but Tsuna is just arguing because he wants to talk with Natsu more, and he thinks that Natsu knows that, and just humors Tsuna. Tsuna has agreed with Natsu's point of view from the start, because Natsu places his ideas in a manner that's easy to understand and very persuasive, and Tsuna wants Natsu to teach him how to do that, which Natsu promises. Natsu has promised Tsuna many things, and Tsuna hopes that Natsu will keep all of them.

He is ten, and doesn't know much about the universe, but Tsuna likes to think that his world is just _NatsuNatsuNatsu_.

{4}

**_Hello Tsuna, how was your day?_**

_Ran bullied me again. He kicked me in the stomach and in the shin. I tried to run away, but I think I'm a bit slow right now. I should run more. Oh, but I've finished all the exercises in the new Math book that I got Mom to buy me!_

**_You did? That's brilliant! You're getting really smart now, one day you might bypass me._**

_No way, you're way smarter. _

**_But about Ran… Have you tried taking defense classes? It might work._**

_Defense classes? Like aikido or something?_

**_Yeah. You can start training, and I'll help you as much as I can from here._**

_Really? Okay!_

Tsuna is strangely happy whenever Natsu agrees to help him with something.

{5}

Tsuna is eleven when he first sees his room shimmer. He's startled, because he's writing to Natsu, but Natsu's words suddenly cut off and the room starts shimmering. His surroundings become hazy, like a mirage. Tsuna _knows_ that something or someone is there, but he can't place his finger on it.

He hesitantly creeps over to the blurry air, and looks around. Natsu is supernatural enough, but this is scary. Natsu – no offense to him – was "trapped" in a book; this was taking place right _in his room_.

And when Tsuna squints, he can faintly, barely, make out the lines of a man standing in his room.

Slowly, it almost feels like hours and days are passing by as Tsuna watches the man materialize in front of him (and his breath hitches because Tsuna _knows_ him). That long brown-ish hair and golden fiery eyes just the way Tsuna imagined it with the rings of every color dancing on his fingers and that bewildered look that Tsuna just _recognizes_.

Tsuna doesn't pretend to hide anything when he jumps into the arms of the stranger.

The stranger (_NatsuNatsuNatsu_, his heart is telling him) barks out something between a yelp and strangled laughter and his strong arms come to wrap themselves around Tsuna and all Tsuna can think of is _homehomehome_ and that Natsu is finally real and tangible and all his. Natsu is way taller than him, by two heads at least, and Tsuna raises his head to smile at Natsu and he swears that Natsu practically shines as he smiles back full of love and longing and _family_.

"Well," Natsu speaks and Tsuna shivers slightly as that warm baritone tenor strikes deep into him and glides over his skin. "I didn't expect this to happen." There is a glimmer of faint amusement in Natsu's eyes and Tsuna watches in awe as the light dances through his pupils, making Natsu seem all the more ethereal. It takes him a while to realize that he hasn't responded, and he hurriedly rushes out something.

"Who cares?" Tsuna breathes out, voice muffled as he buries his head into Natsu's chest. It's so, so warm and Natsu smells like a mix of Sunshine and After a Thunderstorm, and Tsuna doesn't understand why he thinks it fits Natsu so perfectly.

And then his mom just has to ruin everything by barging into his room without knocking with a cheerful "Tsu-kun, keep your clothes!" and Tsuna has to drop his hands from his clutch around Natsu. Natsu still keeps his hold on him, and Tsuna feels safe when he feels that hold tighten slightly. (He'll never admit it, but Tsuna feels a bit of resentment towards his mother for coming in at such a time like this.)

She comes in and goes out, and doesn't mention Natsu's presence at all. Tsuna watches in morbid fascination as Nana just smiles brightly at him and sweeps out of the room again, and Natsu goes unmentioned. Breaking out of Natsu's hold (it takes him counting to three multiple times before he can _force_ himself out of Natsu's hold), he rushes after his mom and asks breathlessly.

"Mom, did you see anything?"

His mother just smiles at him and replies with "Just you Tsuna! Dinner's going to be ready soon, so come down!" and Tsuna thinks that he can see flowers growing from behind her. He just nods dumbly at her for a while, amazed because he knows that Nana is oblivious but not blind, so she couldn't have missed the man in Tsuna's room. Unless she honestly couldn't see him.

Tsuna doesn't realize that Natsu has trailed out the door behind him and is leaning against the wall and looking at his mother's retreating back with a faint nostalgia, and he wonders if Natsu knew his mother once. He doesn't ask, because he knows that Natsu will only give him a vague answer, and Tsuna doesn't want to rack his brains to find the missing link.

"Why can't she see you?" It's an honest question, and Tsuna is marginally surprised when Natsu shrugs. He knows that Natsu is not God, but the last few years of his life have revolved around Natsu (and _Natsu only_) for so long, that he starts to think that Natsu has answers to everything.

"Maybe it's because you don't want her to see me?" Tsuna frowns at this, and Natsu explains further. "I'm tied to your book. If you want others to see me, or if you don't mind others seeing me, maybe then, and only then, will others see me."

Tsuna nods, thinking that this makes sense. He's hit with a sudden idea, and forcibly drags Natsu back to his room. Natsu is a solid 56 kilograms and Tsuna is just a measly 35, so he thinks that Natsu is just humoring him when he gets dragged along, but Tsuna doesn't care. Closing his door (and locking it), Tsuna flurries about his room, pulling out his stack of workbooks.

He shows each and every one of them to Natsu with a proud smile on his face, and when Natsu _says_ the praise instead of the words writing themselves out on the book, something light and fluffy settles in his gut and he beams sunlight. Natsu sees this, and seems to beam sunlight right back at Tsuna, so they beam sunlight together in the small room with workbooks strewn around and the sun setting through the window.

Tsuna eats a hurried dinner and rushes back to his room, eager to spend more time with Natsu, but freezes at the door when he sees Natsu exploring his room. Natsu picks up the school bag, smiles at it, this sad wry smile, and puts it back down. He runs his finger along the manga titles that fill the bookshelves, the sad smile turning into something longing and wistful. He sits on the bed and flops backwards on the mattress, before sitting up again, and that smile grows into something that Tsuna can't pinpoint, but it makes him sad all the same because he doesn't want his precious person to look like that. (Tsuna doesn't even know what his school bag or his manga or his bed could represent to make Natsu look _like that_, but it must mean something important and he henceforth swears to take proper care of his bag and his manga and to fold his blankets every morning before he goes to school.)

When Tsuna focuses, he thinks that he can see a tear at the corner of Natsu's eye, but he brushes it off as the way the setting sun reflects off those beautiful golden orbs that remind him of an hourglass. Natsu seems to notice him, and even though Tsuna thinks that Natsu knows he's been there all along, Natsu gives him this smile and rubs his eye, whispering "I've got dust in my eye."

It's a bad excuse, but Tsuna has made worse excuses for himself, and files that one excuse away in the back of his mind because it's a _bad_ excuse, but that doesn't mean it's less legitimate than any other reason Tsuna has used on himself at night while crying thus far.

And when night comes around with the twinkling stars that shine over the blanket of night that isn't quite pure black but more of shimmering dark blue, green and a dab of purple, Natsu tucks Tsuna into bed and he even tells Tsuna a bedtime story (Tsuna's favorite story is of the one where the sky saves all the weathers and they become friends – it's childish, but it's the first ever story Natsu ever tells him), and Tsuna can safely say that today is the best day he has ever had.

{6}

Twelve is one of the ages that the awkward phase between adolescence and adulthood encompasses, and of course, not to forget, the ever-dreaded puberty.

Tsuna is slightly moodier and has taken a slightly more jaded outlook at life, wondering why he is still "Dame-Tsuna" after all these years. Natsu makes everything better, however, and Tsuna slowly mellows out. Natsu and Nana are the only people he listens to, and the former more than the latter. Nana may be his mom, but Natsu has a larger and more important place in his heart, and Tsuna isn't afraid to admit it. He thinks Natsu can probably cook better than his mom anyways.

Natsu has started training Tsuna in all sorts of things, and Tsuna thinks that he has developed a desire to be praised by Natsu. Because when he gets something wrong, Natsu just smiles softly at him and encourages him to try again, which seems to flick a switch in Tsuna which chokes him up and makes him feel all guilty for disappointing Natsu. And when Tsuna scores full marks on his workbook test, Natsu smiles just a tad brighter and sits up a tad straighter but his eyes are still as gentle and radiate pride. Pride, that Tsuna unabashedly basks in, because it's all for Tsuna. (He's never had someone been proud of him before, because it's always _"Dame-Tsuna failed again!"_ or _"It's okay Tsu-kun, Mama knows you can't do it."_ but Natsu is, and Tsuna is frankly delighted.)

Tsuna remembers running away from home once, fed up with the world and it's cruelty and Ran and all his other bullies and his teachers and his mom's obliviousness. It's the day before his birthday, and Tsuna is furious, Sora-sensei having laughed at him in class, Ran ganging up with other people to beat him up again, and Nana just smiling as brightly as ever while saying "Welcome back, Tsu-kun!" and pretending not to see his bruises as he limps into the house. Tsuna is so tired and just wants to give up and forget everything, and as he dangles from the swing at the playground, he tries to push his anger into something different, something he's never really bothered about before.

His father.

And all at once, the tiny bottle (with hairline cracks on the surface, spreading like spider webs) that has been holding his rage and bitterness in shatters, and Tsuna feels a shout coming out of his throat that somehow turns into a scream and Tsuna screams long and hard into the night sky, until he's panting and all he can manage right now is a high-pitched keening whine and he's doubled over. He screams about his father, the blonde stranger that has returned home only nine times (nine? Tsuna wasn't sure himself anymore) for Tsuna's whole life, the idiot over the phone that never comes home and makes Nana long and worry, the failure that Tsuna has never had the opportunity to know.

It starts to rain, drops of water landing on him, dampening his hair and flattening it to his skull. The sky seems alive, Tsuna notes miserably, tiny fairies in the form of water droplets racing with each other across the beautiful background of constellations and space, and Tsuna wonders if there's some higher-up that absolutely _detests_ him. He is getting soaked to the bone, but Tsuna is tired and weak – he hasn't eaten, not at all. Ran stole his lunch money, he forgot his bento, and he skipped dinner when he ran out of the house. Tsuna knows that it's easily 9 p.m. right now, and his stomach gurgles emptily.

All of a sudden the rain stops and it doesn't at the same time, Tsuna can still see the rain drops pitter pattering on the ground by his feet as his head is tilted downwards but he feels nothing dripping into his skin and he seems to be growing drier by the minute. Tsuna sneaks a peek upwards, and he sees Natsu standing next to him, looking up at the skies with a faint amusement.

When Natsu looks back down at Tsuna however, all traces of a smile are gone and Natsu's eyes have hardened. The bright swirly orbs have turned into a murky brown-gold, and it scares Tsuna, in a way. He knows that Natsu won't do anything _too_ bad to him, trusts Natsu not to hurt him that badly, but even Tsuna can tell when he's disappointed Natsu to the point that Natsu wants to shield Tsuna from the turmoil of emotions that he's facing.

Tsuna has never been good at reading people, but when it comes to Natsu, he seems to _know_ and _understand_ every single thing Natsu feels, even if he can't name the particular emotion. He _understands_, and that's all that's important.

Natsu doesn't say anything, just waits patiently with Tsuna in the rain. Tsuna feels ashamed already, and curls further into himself when Natsu presents him with paper and pen. Tsuna spares a moment to imagine what it would look like from an outsider's point of view – pen and paper just floating to Tsuna's hands – and a small smile breaks on his face.

Natsu grabs Tsuna's hand, wrist steady, and slowly writes out Ran's name in that fancy slant of his. When Natsu deems it done, he throws the slip of paper in the air and snaps his fingers, and Tsuna watches in awe as embers and red and blue and yellow and green and purple dance over the paper and eat it up into nothingness, and then he watches as the ash slowly crumbles to the floor. Tsuna has always been fascinated by the strange but beautiful colors of Natsu's flames, but doesn't comment, focusing instead on that vindictive rush at how it Ran's name – and essentially, _Ran_ – just went up in flames because _Natsu decreed it so_. Natsu's power has always charmed Tsuna to the point of no return, and every little thing he does makes Tsuna all the more enamored.

They spend the next few hours playing this game of writing down their problems and irritants and sorrows and then burning them up in the night, and Tsuna feels like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders when he sees the growing pile of ash on the ground.

And when his watch reminds him that _it's midnight, it's his birthday,_ Tsuna is pleasantly surprised when Natsu's arms wrap around him, and whispers oh so quietly but it carries so much weight (Natsu hasn't spoken _at all_ so far) a soft but sweet "Happy Birthday."

Tsuna feels like crying, because he's never had _anyone_ say those two words to him with such emotion.

But when he goes home, and he sees his mom wring her hands as she paces in the kitchen while waiting up for him, Tsuna can't control the beaming smile that spreads across his face as he bounds into her arms and murmurs apologies and comforts. He hears her rushed whispers and murmurs of "Tsu-kun I was _so scared_, please don't do that again, tell Mama if you're going out Tsu-kun, and oh happy birthday, happy birthday to you Tsu-kun." and thinks that maybe, just _maybe_, his mother is saying those words with emotions the size of the universe hanging in them.

(_And after so, so long, maybe is all he needs_)

Tsuna looks up from her embrace and he can just make out the silhouette of Natsu leaning against the wall past the kitchen (out of sight, but close enough to know that he's there), and Tsuna practically glows.

Every new day spent with Natsu seems to take the place of the best day ever.

{7}

Tsuna is thirteen now, and this baby Spartan tutor is, frankly, not at all amusing. He's tiny and only comes up to Tsuna's knees, and he looks two years old. Tsuna would very much prefer Natsu to be his mentor, but when Tsuna complains to him while Reborn wasn't looking (Natsu made sure), Natsu just smiles at him and tells Tsuna to suck it up. Tsuna pouts for a while, but inwardly smiles at the fact that he gets to have this kind of silly banter with the one he considers a brother.

Tsuna thinks – no he _knows_ – that Natsu has an inner sadist in him, because whenever Reborn does something particularly demoralizing and poses a severe danger to his life, Natsu laughs in a corner of the room, that deep open hearted laughter that rings down all the way to Tsuna's soul and he can't help but smile in that direction. He knows that Reborn suspects something, but whenever Reborn looks in the direction of Natsu, he can't see anything, because Tsuna doesn't want Reborn to see Natsu. Of course, Tsuna's smile just makes Reborn torture him all the more, which makes Natsu laugh harder, but Tsuna can't find it in him to hold anything against Natsu because if he looked at it from an objective point of view (and not as the victim), Tsuna realizes that himself screaming from Reborn's tortures _is_ funny. (Tsuna finally understands why Reborn thinks why scarring him is funny) But he is the victim, and he wipes that thought from his mind because it wouldn't do to feel for the enemy.

"Dame-Tsuna," Reborn squeaks out as he settles himself at the table, and Tsuna gives a self-suffering sigh, throwing a glance to Natsu before turning to the coffee maker. It's only been two days (two days of _Baby? Are you lost?_ And _Hieeeeee don't hurt me_ and _Ciaossu Dame-Tsuna_) and Tsuna is already Reborn's "coffee servant". Natsu helps sometimes, showing Tsuna which button to press and how much water to pour, and when Reborn sips at the black espresso with a surprised expression on his face, Tsuna catches Natsu's slow smile, with the softening of the eyes and relaxed tilt of his mouth – and Tsuna wonders if Natsu once knew Reborn. Natsu seems to know many people, especially people that Tsuna is slowly getting to know.

"Who taught you how to make an espresso?" Reborn asks, and Tsuna can sense a tremor of danger in Reborn's voice, because Tsuna knows that Reborn knows that Nana cannot make an espresso, and Tsuna cannot learn anything properly by himself.

"Natsu," Tsuna's mouth answers before he can stop himself, and for the first time ever, he is proud of announcing to _someone_ that Natsu helped him, and when he sees a glimmer of confusion flash past Reborn's face, it's all the more sweet, because he managed to make Reborn's mask slip.

Natsu is leaning against the kitchen counter, and there is a smile on his face as well (Tsuna doesn't think Natsu can _ever_ stop smiling, but if he does, Tsuna swears that he will hunt down whoever the bastard that hurt his brother was). But he isn't looking at Tsuna, he is looking at Reborn, and Tsuna's eyes widen when Natsu strolls over to blow gently on Reborn's neck. Natsu can't be seen, but he can interact with other things in the physical plane.

Reborn jerks up and a small hand reaches up to cover his neck as a shudder runs through his body, and his black eyes dart around like lightning as he reaches for Leon. He sees nothing, and hears nothing, but Tsuna knows that Reborn is suspicious and curious right now. And Tsuna is marginally delighted (_revenge is sweet, even if he wasn't the one who exacted the revenge_) when he has presented Reborn with a puzzle that only Tsuna has the key to unlocking.

"Who's Natsu?"

Tsuna is cheerful when he answers, and he beams, eyes curving into up-turned U shapes. "I don't really know myself."

And when he sees Natsu's bemused look with Reborn's confusion, Tsuna can't help but collapse in laughter.

(_Of course, Reborn gets his revenge when he suddenly uses Leon to shoot at Tsuna, telling him to hurry up and get to school or the demon prefect will get him, but as the future Decimo shouts "Hieeeeeeee" as he dashes to school, Reborn tilts his fedora down, and shivers again when he feels that strange presence around him. It feels like something settling down around him, feels like something is encasing him, but it doesn't make him feel trapped. It makes him strangely relaxed and comfortable, and even Leon purrs a bit on his hat._

_He idly wonders who Natsu is, and files it in the "IMPORTANT" section of his brain._)

{8}

When Tsuna meets Gokudera, he is stunned. Gokudera is red and storm and silver and beautiful, everything Natsu has told him about the storm. Tsuna is immediately eager to meet and know this Italian boy that calls to something deep inside of him.

Just two days ago, he had to fight Mochida-senpai (in his opinion, Tsuna thinks that none of his senpais and his senseis deserve that honorary title, because they are horrible to him, and why should he respect someone who doesn't respect him?) over Kyoko, and Tsuna thinks that the shadow he saw outside the gym is Gokudera, and he grows excited.

But Gokudera sneers and curls his lip at Tsuna and even kicks over his chair, making Tsuna fall to the ground and instantly Natsu is close by, his eyes dark and fiery and trained on Gokudera. Gokudera shudders, and Tsuna just wishes, _wishes_, that Gokudera will know the wrath of Natsu because _stormstormstorm_ rings in his heart and mind as _friendfriendmine_ and not enemy.

And when Gokudera's eyes widen and he starts shaking, Tsuna's eyes dart instinctively over to Natsu, seeing that calm arch of an eyebrow and the crossing of arms while standing over Tsuna's fallen body. Natsu has hidden his rings, and his eyes are burning with nostalgia (why?) and faint amusement as he stares as the stunned silver haired boy, and his lips quirk up.

Tsuna gets up, righting his chair and sitting back down, and Gokudera starts moving to his own seat. And if Gokudera mutters a quiet "S'ry" under his breath and gives a subtle nod in Natsu's direction, Tsuna doesn't mention it.

When Natsu sidles to Gokudera during class, Tsuna isn't surprised when Gokudera first snarls and stiffens like an alley cat. But by the end of the first half of the day, Gokudera's body and eyes are relaxed, and he sits straight in his chair, instead of the slouch and the delinquent like motion of "propping his legs up on his desk" that he did at the start of the day.

Tsuna hides a small smile, because he knows that Natsu – even if he'll never admit it – has a saving people thing, and he wants to help everyone he can. Tsuna understands this, because he's the same. He could see the hidden loss and isolation of the small boy hiding in the emerald eyes of the child trying to play delinquent, and Tsuna desperately wants to help. But he also knows that Natsu is far better than him at saving people, and Tsuna is willing to let Natsu take over for now, because he knows that if it was left up to him, it would probably take a battle and a screaming fight for Tsuna to help Gokudera.

Of course, Tsuna has made Natsu promise to teach him the fool-proof way of helping someone, and soon (not now but _soon enough_), Tsuna will be the one sitting by Gokudera's side and making him laugh.

(_Of course, because he doesn't know the future, he doesn't know that that incident will happen soon, far too soon for his liking, but Natsu does, Natsu knows everything, and he smiles at Gokduera while keeping Tsuna in his line of sight._)

Tsuna is also interested in how Gokudera can see Natsu the moment Tsuna wills it so.

{9}

"Double Bomb!"

Gokudera yells as he flings out dynamite towards Tsuna – _Tsuna, the brother of Natsu_ – and he ducks into a roll away from the explosions. Tsuna can faintly make out his shape amidst the smoke and he frowns, even as his hands dart around furiously to extinguish all the flames that are about to burn out the dynamite.

The flame on his forehead reminds Tsuna of the color of Natsu's eyes, gold and red and yellow and a thousand shades and hues in between, but the flame is slightly mellow when compared to Natsu. Natsu's eyes are _alive_. And right now, if Tsuna doesn't try harder, he is going to die.

His hands ache with already callused fingertips, and his eyes burn with smoke and heat as they strain to find Gokudera's familiar shadow. His skin is burnt and charred and a voice at the back of his mind murmurs "Natsu?" But this fight is Tsuna's, mainly because it was Reborn who dragged him into this, and it's him versus Gokudera and no one else. He won't ask Natsu for help, not for this match.

From what he's last seen of Gokudera, the boy's nerves are high strung and he's scared, even if only a little bit, because no one has been able to defeat his dynamites, and even if they have, they haven't done it by extinguishing the flames, because no one is as fast as that. What they usually do is flick the dynamite back at himself, and Gokudera "self-inflicts" harm.

Gokudera doesn't understand Tsuna either, and that throws him off his edge. All the other opponents that he's met are only interested in either living, or killing him, and he's been able to read them like an open book. But Tsuna's Dying Will (even _he's_ heard of the dying will bullet, Gokudera's not stupid) was to "EXTINGUISH ALL THE FLAMES WITH MY DYING WILL REBORN!" and Gokudera doesn't understand why. Why not to save himself, or to defeat Gokudera?

No, Tsuna is somewhat of an enigma, and Gokudera is pretty certain that this is one battle he won't – _can't_ – win.

But Gokudera has to try, because he promised Reborn that he would, and promises are one of the rare things that Gokudera honors. (_Whispers of a woman with a piano and tinkles of laughter and a soft hand on his head with silver and green and silent murmurs of a lost promise that make Gokudera ache with faded memories_)

"Triple Bomb!"

And Gokudera freezes the moment the words leave his mouth because he knows he's messed up, the angle at which he flicked his wrist is more than ten degrees off and the dynamites aren't going to fly in the direction he wants them to – which is at Tsuna – and instead they fall-

Right in front of him.

"REBORN! SAVE GOKUDERA WITH MY DYING WILL!" Tsuna roars, and Gokuedera suspects that it's a trick of the light, but Tsuna's flame burns brighter and stronger and the resolve in his eyes is so much more powerful. Gokudera just staggers weakly with his hands at his sides as he sees Tsuna blur around pinching the flames and extinguishing them. He can't place this strange feeling inside of him, because all his life, no one has ever wanted to save him. His father left him, his sister left him, he was turned away by every family he tried to join and for a long, long time, all Gokudera knew was _coldcoldcold_ and _I'msorry_. But watching Tsuna dash around trying to save him (_him, save Gokudera, him_), Gokudera thinks that maybe, Tsuna might just be the sky that he's been looking for all this while. Because Tsuna blazes brightly, and that tired smile he shoots to Gokudera as his Dying Will flame burns out makes something twitch inside Gokudera. It is beautiful, and it makes Gokudera want to swear his life to this boy.

Tsuna flops to the ground, mission accomplished, and gives a weak chuckle when he feels Natsu's arms around him, with Natsu's mouth near his right ear whispering "Good job Tsuna, you did so well, so well…" and Tsuna is proud of himself, but proud of Gokudera as well because even if Gokudera messed up at the end, he still put up a good battle, and if Natsu's taught him anything, is that if you give your best, no matter win or fail, _I will always be proud of you_.

He watches through half-lidded eyes as Gokudera rushes before him with a harried look on his face, and his eyes widen when Gokudera drops to his knees before him. Tsuna waves his hands at Gokudera, slightly frightened and glancing at Natsu ever so often, trying to tell Natsu to _do something and get Gokudera off his knees_ but Natsu just tosses his head in Reborn's direction, and when Tsuna hears Reborn's casual "Dame-Tsuna", he understands.

"The loser becomes the subordinate of the winner, Dame-Tsuna," Reborn announces, and Tsuna instinctively goes "Hieeeee" because what he is looking for in Gokudera is a friend, a friend that will laugh with him and eat popsicles with him and walk home with him and watch the sun set together with him, not a subordinate. He tells Gokudera what he thinks of _that_ idea, and when Gokudera cries out a delighted "Jyuudaime!" Tsuna thinks that that's the best he can go for now, but someday, he will get Gokudera to call him by his name, not some title that Tsuna isn't even sure he'll accept. He's tired, and even with Natsu holding him up, Tsuna doesn't think he can last much longer.

Gokudera is surprisingly unsubtle when he throws a look at Natsu, a small smile curving his lips before bowing once more, and Tsuna knows that Reborn is confused and curious again, because _who is Gokudera bowing to?_ But soon enough, three seniors that are ditching class walks across the scene and threaten Tsuna, and Gokudera flares up and whips out his dynamite again to protect "his Jyuudaime" (and someone else, but Gokudera doesn't openly announce who), and Reborn leaves the matter be.

{10}

"Good morning Jyuudaime!" Tsuna is marginally surprised at Gokudera's cheerful greeting in front of his house, and just nods weakly while shooting a dark look at Reborn. Reborn catches this and just shrugs, smirking while aiming Leon at Tsuna. Tsuna secretly suspects that Reborn is part of some illicit pact that worships the Devil, the kind where LOL stands for Lucifer our Lord instead of Laughing Out Loud, and when he whispers it under his breath to Natsu, Natsu collapses in laughter.

Natsu later whispers it in Gokudera's ear, which causes Gokudera to blush and shake, and Tsuna can see very clearly that Gokudera is trying hard not to laugh but failing terribly, as shown when he gives up and turns around to laugh while his shoulders shake and his hand comes up to cover his mouth and hopefully muffle his laughter. Reborn just shoots a few bullets at the two of them, and tell them to get to school, or Hibari will come after them.

Natsu accompanies Tsuna to school, as always, but this time so does Gokudera, and Tsuna feels something inexplicable well up in him. He pictures it as comfortable and warm and bubbly inside of him, and Tsuna doesn't try to hide the skip in his step as he walks to school. He's made bentos as well, an orange one for himself (Tsuna doesn't know why, but the color orange just _resonates_ with him, and also because Natsu's eyes are goldeny-orange and are just beautiful) and a red one for Gokudera. Tsuna had woken up really early today to make that bento, and it was hard when Reborn was shooting at him every other minute. Natsu walked him through it, step by step, but there are still plasters wrapped around his fingers, because every time Reborn shoots at Tsuna, he panics (who wouldn't panic at the sound of a _gunshot_) and the knife slips.

But Tsuna thinks that it'll be worth it later during recess, when he can offer the bento to Gokudera and see his reaction.

Gokudera is twitchy and nervous, wringing his hands before pulling them apart to rest at his side, before repeating the process. Tsuna can tell that Gokudera is dying to talk to Natsu again, but something is stopping him from doing so. He sidles up beside Gokudera, and with a nod in Natsu's direction, nudges Gokudera.

Gokudera jumps, and Natsu turns to face them. Gokudera opens his mouth, before closing it again like a fish, and his eyes dart to Tsuna as if asking for permission. Tsuna finds this strange, because why would Gokudera require his permission to speak with Natsu? Natsu isn't his (_his_ mentor, _his_ brother, _his_ diary-ghost, but not essentially his). Tsuna gives an encouraging nod nonetheless, and both teens turn to face Natsu with his gleaming eyes that say he knows everything and that glimmer of amusement dancing in his eyes and that knowing smile.

"Er-um, ah," Gokudera stammers out, not even able to form a full sentence, and Natsu laughs, a deep throaty laugh that seems to let Gokudera relax instantly, the creases on his forehead disappearing and that awkward stiffness in his spine flowing away. He takes a deep breath, and tries again. "Er, Natsu-san? Can, er, Reborn-san see you?"

Natsu quirks an eyebrow at this, and turns to look at Tsuna. "I don't think so. I used to be Tsuna's diary-ghost thing, and I believe I am linked to his consciousness. If Tsuna decides that he doesn't mind Reborn seeing me, then I believe Reborn will be able to see me." He pauses here, and tilts his head at Tsuna. "Why don't you ask Tsuna why he doesn't want Reborn seeing me?"

Tsuna tenses at this, even as Gokudera's eyes – are those _puppy dog eyes_? – turn towards him, and turns his own gaze to the ground. "Natsu… sec…" He murmurs, and red overtakes his face when both Gokudera and Natsu lean closer, unable to catch his answer.

"Because, Natsu's _my_ secret," Tsuna rushes out, and suddenly the blush on his face isn't just a blush anymore, he swears he can feel his temperature rising, and his mind feels like it's going to explode, because even admitting that Natsu is _his_ secret is like confessing a huge secret to someone. It makes him fidget as Gokudera's eyes widen and Natsu's smile softens, and Tsuna takes off in a run towards the school, unable to handle the quiet silence anymore. It's not irritating, it just implies that the two of them need a long time to digest the information and that makes it all the more embarrassing, especially when _Natsu's_ there as well.

"Jyuudaime!" Gokudera shouts over the wind as he races by Tsuna's side, Natsu following at an easy pace. "I am honored to have you trust me to the point that you will let me in on your secret!" He is beaming, emerald eyes shimmering, his lips spread in a wide grin with his silver hair blowing behind him.

And Tsuna suddenly realizes that Natsu isn't his secret anymore, not truly, because secrets are only kept best when it's only by one person, and that person is the one who owns the secret. Now that Gokudera knows his secret, Tsuna is going to have to share Natsu, and something bitter sets in on his tongue. Bitter, but not quite at the same time. It feels like Tsuna's lost something very important, and he only has an inkling of what it is.

"Tsuna," Natsu says, and Tsuna's head immediately whips over to Natsu, and sees the proud eyes and gentle smile. "I'll always be yours first, so it's okay to share." Tsuna explodes into redness again, because no matter how well Natsu knows Tsuna, it's just _not right_ to be able to see right through his soul like Tsuna's made of glass, or to read his mind like that! And Natsu's smile takes on a more sadistic side as he pretends to look at his wrist and says casually, "Oh, you two are late."

Tsuna automatically goes "Hieeeeeee" and increases his speed because Hibari and his biting tendencies are good enough reason to want to reach school on time. Gokudera does the same, because he's sworn to follow Tsuna to the ends of the earth and if Tsuna is going to school, then so will Gokudera. Natsu just follows and laughs inwardly, because Tsuna keeps forgetting that Natsu doesn't have a watch on his wrist, he literally glances at his wrist and makes up a time. Of course, this "made-up" time is influenced by the position of the sun in the sky, which makes his predictions rather accurate, but not one hundred percent accurate. Tsuna still takes his words at face value, however, even though Tsuna is the one with a watch on his hand.

They make it to class on time, and Gokudera proceeds to embarrass Tsuna by asking if Tsuna would want him to do away with the irritating teacher that keeps laughing at Tsuna, and even though Tsuna would love to say yes, he tries to find the grown adult in himself and says no. But he sees the gleam in Natsu's eyes, and knows that the teacher will have a ghost incident or two happening to him in the span of the next week anyways. Natsu is protective and _perfect_ like that, because he always keeps an eye out for Tsuna, and now Gokudera as well, and Tsuna can always count on him to have his back because Natsu is Natsu.

"Hey Tsuna, what's the answer to this?" Of course, Tsuna thinks as he rolls his eyes while staring at the paper. Natsu would just have to weasel the correct answers for the test out of Tsuna while Tsuna purposely screws the test up, and that is entirely too distracting. While muttering the answers under his breath to Natsu, Tsuna is accused of cheating and is sent out of class. Gokudera soon follows, after he explodes with dynamite in his hands and accuses the teacher of accusing Tsuna. Gokudera beams at Tsuna, telling Tsuna that "The teacher was an idiot anyways," and Tsuna feels much better, but judging from the glint in Natsu's eyes, the one or two ghost incidents will suddenly escalate into much more, and despite himself, Tsuna feels vindicated and relieved beyond words.

All too soon, it is lunch, and the trio make their way to the roof. Tsuna was fairly certain that there were tears in Gokudera's eyes when Tsuna offered the bento, and the tears increased when Tsuna mentioned that Natsu helped. Gokudera seems to hold Natsu in very high regard, and Tsuna is pleased, because Natsu is very deserving of that high regard.

Natsu leans against the wall watching Tsuna and Gokudera eat, and suddenly announces that "Reborn is probably going to question you two about me."

"I told him about you once," Tsuna mentions, and Gokudera's eyes go wide. "I think Reborn thought I was crazy."

"He asked me about Natsu-san the other day."

"Really? And what did you tell him?" Natsu asks.

"I told him that Natsu-san was Jyuudaime's friend."

"Natsu's my brother, not my friend," Tsuna pushes in as he stuffs egg into his mouth. "Ah, but I suppose he's my friend too. I wonder where Reborn is."

"But Jyuudaime, isn't Natsu your ghost-diary thing?"

"Natsu can still be my brother, right?" Tsuna turns to Natsu at this, eyes burning with fierce determination to argue for his case if Natsu dares to say otherwise.

"Of course," Natsu agrees with a laugh. "I'm Tsuna's brother. You can tell Reborn that."

"But Natsu-san-"

"Call me Natsu, Natsu-san makes me feel older than I already am," Natsu blurts out, and Tsuna laughs.

"Yeah, Natsu's old enough already." Natsu mock glares at Tsuna for this, and Tsuna laughs harder. Gokudera's lips twitch up, like he's trying to restrain himself from smiling but can't help it, and when Natsu reaches over to poke him in the stomach, Gokudera falls and laughs out.

From the corner of his eye, Tsuna sees Natsu subtly inclines his head upwards, and Tsuna suddenly notices a familiar fedora slipping away from the edge of the rooftop. He finds this amusing, somehow, because Reborn is observing them without knowing who or _what_ Natsu is, and Gokudera and Tsuna are blatantly talking to someone who isn't there.

"When are you going to let Reborn see me?" Natsu questions as he leans back on the floor, hands under his head. "I know you want to keep me a secret, but at the rate we're going, if everyone knows me before Reborn does, I'm not sure what he'll do to you when he finds out about me."

Tsuna freezes, rice dropping from his chopsticks that were halfway to his mouth. Natsu's words register in his mind, and Tsuna gives an involuntary shudder when he thinks about what horror Reborn might put him through if he were to find out about Natsu _last_.

"S-soon," Tsuna mutters, looking away, and Natsu grins, rolling over to Tsuna's side like a little kid. Tsuna can't help but laugh, because Natsu is really so much older (and so much more jaded) but he can still act like a child and retain that innocence, something Tsuna is very jealous of. He dearly hopes that he will one day grow up to become someone like Natsu, because Natsu is everything he could ever wish to become.

"Jyuudaime!" Gokudera shouts, eyes full of encouragement. "I will help you when you tell Reborn!"

"By what?" Natsu teases, chuckling when Gokudera stills. "By standing a few metres away and providing emotional support?"

"N-no! I will be right there too!"

"Good," Natsu's eyes burn with a sudden intensity, and the world suddenly seems a lot smaller. "That's a good friend. And a good right hand man too, of course." Gokudera shines and sparkles at this, because _Natsu praised him, Natsu, Jyuudaime's brother and Gokudera's new idol_.

Tsuna just groans out a "Not you too!" Which Natsu replies with a Cheshire smile.

The bell rings, and the two boys hurry to class while Natsu remains on the rooftop, staring out over the school. Tsuna faintly catches sight of Reborn dropping to the rooftop to investigate this _Natsu_, and a cheeky grin spreads across his face, something that scares Gokudera a bit, because he's never seen that expression on his Jyuudaime's face, but for the first time, Jyuudaime looks excited and resembles a prankster, and Gokudera can't stop the smile that pops up.

(_Natsu sees Reborn, and he smiles, a slow sad smile that Reborn doesn't catch, because Reborn can't see him. Knowing this, Natsu sits down in front of Reborn, watching his onyx eyes rove around while questing for the mysterious Natsu. _

_"__Hey Reborn," Natsu starts, and his smile turns into something more familiar and nostalgic when the hitman stiffens, turning in the direction of Natsu, because he could sense the breaths puffed out by Natsu. "Long time no see."_

_Reborn doesn't reply, just remains staring at the empty space from which he swore he felt breaths from. He tilts his fedora, and fingers his Leon gun._

_"__It's been a long time, hasn't it?" Natsu looks up now, the sun shining on him, his shadow non-existent. "So long."_

_He looks back down at Reborn. "I missed you, you know? Missed you so much, but I couldn't do anything about it. And I wouldn't have dared to say this if you were able to hear me. Guess I'm still spineless after all."_

_"__You helped me lots, Reborn. You'll do fine with Tsuna."_

_Reborn stares at the spot on the ground. The breaths are gone. A small wind blows past him, warm and comforting, and Reborn relaxes a tad. He doesn't know who the breaths belong to, but Reborn feels at home. Warm, like the breaths wrap around him and hugs him close and tells him "Reborn, you're home". A small smile creeps over his face, and he murmurs softly as he tilts his fedora down to shadow his eyes. _

_"__Thank you."_)


End file.
